Risks are not all created equal. Healthy risks (and the ones worth pursuing) are to gain those skills and abilities that you envy in other people, “I wish I was like that” or “I wish I could do that” or that make your eyes light up while you think “I wonder if…”. They are not things that make you nauseous or instill any other symptoms of fight or flight or that you know will be harmful.  Sky diving is not a healthy risk for me personally because when I think about it, all I get is a feeling of dread, my stomach drops to my knees, and I can’t imagine feeling better about myself at the end of it.  It may or may not be on your personal risk list.

The first step to learning to take more risks is to figure out which ones are on your personal list without making any immediate plans to tackle them or beat yourself up for not being there yet. Risks can be big or small, things that seem silly, or things that are universally acknowledged to be a really big deal.  Healthy risks may be emotional risks, physical challenges or both.  It’s okay; it’s your list and your timetable – there are no deadlines.

Why keep a written list?

Well, mostly because risks are sneaky and once conquered, they quickly slip from your memory as ever having been scary.  Keeping a running list that you maintain helps to prove to yourself how brave you’re being and how far you’ve come.  I’ve been keeping mine since 2004 and can now say that I typically cross off about 7 or 8 items each year but with each year the number grows…  you may have more or less.  When I look back at the early items, it’s hard to remember ever feeling like those were really risks!

Starting your list

Step 1. Create a list of risky things that you can identify now that you would like to tackle someday.  Look over the list to make sure that you aren’t allowing anyone else’s risks onto your list just because you feel you should. Do you genuinely feel excited about the day when you’ll feel ready to take each one on, even if they feel overwhelming now?

Step 2. Copy the list to a permanent journal or computer document (I confess I keep mine in a spreadsheet) and leave enough room for the date when you complete each item.    Be sure to leave some room at the end to add items as you think of them.

Step 3.  Pick the risk that you want to start with and ask yourself if you feel ready to take it on.  It’s okay to give yourself research time or just to sit with it for awhile.  When you have met the challenge, mark the date it was completed next to it on the list and pick the next one to tackle.

Step 4.  Add items to the list posthumously (the risk, not you!) That is, risks that you take and face but that you hadn’t thought to add to the list ahead of time.  Example: fixing the leaking toilet – not something I anticipated having to deal with, and I was shaking with each turn of the wrench, but oh so proud of myself at the end of it and I know now that I could do it again with much less angst.

Step 5.  Look over the completed items once a year on New Year’s or your birthday and really take stock of how far you’ve come and give yourself credit.  Add any new risks you’ve thought of that you’d like to take on someday.

In the five years that I’ve been keeping my list it’s grown to around 75 items.  Here are some examples of the range these can take:

Window shop inside Tiffany’s (10/1/2004)

Visit a psychic (5/27/2006)

Call the local gym (8/15/2006)

Wander around New York City by myself (1/25/2007)

Trade $100 on the stock market (tbd)

Drive to Alaska (tbd)

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