How to broaden your perspective by changing just one word
April 28, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Health and Happiness
I can’t take any credit for this one; I recently read it in The Art of Possibility and didn’t think much about it at first. The simple concept suggested using ‘and’ instead of ‘but’ when joining two clauses. It was a brief section in the book and I noted it mildly as I read on. A few days later I started to realize just how often I use the word ‘but’ in a conjunctive sense. For example:
- I want to drive to Alaska, but I also want to see the Greek islands
- I want to make money blogging, but I need to pay the bills now
- I want a loving relationship, but I appreciate some of the things that go with being single
These sound innocent enough except that I really use the word ‘but’ frequently. Ouch. At first I didn’t even think that I’m limiting my options by doing this; more of setting a priority or qualifying the desire until I sat with these sentences having rephrased them with ‘and’ instead:
- I want to drive to Alaska, and I also want to see the Greek islands
- I want to make money blogging, and I need to pay the bills now
- I want a loving relationship, and I appreciate some of the things that go with being single
It doesn’t imply that I can do anything simultaneously or suggest anything impossible. Yet there’s a subtle difference between the two sets of sentences. Maybe there’s a solution out there that involves both Alaska and the Greek islands that I wouldn’t find if I were only looking for one side of the equation. I don’t know yet. What I do know is that the second set seems infinitely more open to possibility and the potential for abundance. It doesn’t deny one thought or desire in favor of the other; it makes them more equal. So while I work on reducing my use of the ‘b’ word, try it for yourself and let me know if it makes a difference for you.
