How to deal with ambivalence

I find myself in one of those situations where I hesitate to take on the tasks I need to because I might have to leave on a family emergency.  If I call and schedule plumbers to come out for an estimate, it’s going to be an even greater hassle if I have to remember to call them back and cancel while trying to remember where the heck I’ve left the cell phone charger, spare key, etc. So of course I haven’t called the plumbers yet, or done any of the other things on my list that would have ramifications into next week. And yet I still don’t know if the yellow alert will go to red or green.

While family emergencies are thankfully not that frequent, similar situations of ambivalence do crop up from time to time and yet there is precious little advice out there on how best to manage them. If handled correctly, they can be just an eddy that you pass through safely. If not, they can seriously derail making progress on goals and working towards a more balanced life.

• My best advice is to make two lists, one for what would be getting done if there wasn’t ambivalence and one for what might need to be done earlier than normal, like paying the bills. That way you can at least relax about forgetting something critical – even if it doesn’t get done, at least it’s on paper!
• Ask lots of questions in advance so that you can act quickly if you need to later.  I’ve already had a nice chat with the airline on how to go about getting bereavement fares and talked over different scenarios with the family attorney.  If I’m lucky, those will be ‘wasted’ calls and yet I feel a little more in control for having the information. And nobody on the other end was irritated for the call – people like to help.
• Segregate the worry and the stress over the situation as much as possible – which in part means working on those list items to try and get as much done as you can to mitigate the upheaval.  I’ll be doing some writing in advance today, which I can have ready for now or some time in the future when it’s needed.
• Try to balance the comfort food with exercise, walking does help you ’stay in the now’.

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