The No Excuses Project: I’m too old or too young
It’s been a busy week so I haven’t really had a chance to sit quietly with this excuse “I’m too old” or “I’m too young”. But, like most things, the world conspired to keep it a learning experience regardless. First of all it’s been a week of having everyone I’ve talked to tell me some story about my father. I think it’s totally natural when someone dies to think back about your experiences with that person but when you’re on the receiving end it can be a bit overwhelming. It seems universally acknowledged that my father never used this excuse on himself. He ran and won a local elected office when he was 80 and went to war when he was 17. He was always making plans and getting toys in his Christmas stocking.
So why is it that he was constantly telling me that I was too young or too old? As the youngest child “later” was the most common response to just about anything new that I wanted to try and “it’s time to grow up” was the admonishment for anything that I didn’t. And while I never let that stop me I think a thread of it made it’s way in. It was implied in my adult life as well – how could I possibly be old enough to know how to do my taxes? or do home improvement? or go out on a date?
There are also times when I feel that I missed my chance; that if I wanted a particular thing that I should have set about achieving it years ago. It can be hard to have faith that things work out in their own time. We want evidence that will support the theory and yet some things are more binary and only result in a yes or no answer. For example, how can you possibly gather evidence that true love is coming? Other than reading your horoscope or consulting a psychic, that is. You either have it or you don’t and neither circumstance is proof that the other will not be in your future, regardless of your age. At least this is what I keep telling myself.
This one is the type of excuse that affects my attitude and thus influences my actions more than it affects the actions themselves. I will be continuing to watch and observe to see where I can eliminate it and am hoping for some significant changes.
In the meantime, it’s time to pick one out of the bowl for next week but… I’m not in the same location as the bowl and won’t be for more than a week – a perfect excuse opportunity! Instead I’ve decided that an excuse that I know is in there and seems most fitting for this week will be the focus: I’m too tired.
