The No Excuses Project: ‘It has never happened before’
November 25, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under No Excuses Project
This has to be one of the saddest excuses out there and I’m as guilty of using it as anybody else. At its heart, saying it can’t happen in the future because it hasn’t happened already is about giving up hope, and that has to be one of the most tragic things that can happen to any goal or dream, never mind the person. I suspect that this excuse gets called on for romantic relationships twice as often as for anything else. I’ve certainly used it in that arena but it’s still just an excuse. And I think too often an untruth as well. When we’re feeling hopeless, frustrated or impatient (or all three at once!) we tend to focus on the negative and forget the positive examples. ‘No one has ever fallen in love with me’ tends to overlook the kid at the coffee stand that you ignored, or the relationship with the ex that actually did start out more positive than it ended. Even it if has truly never happened, that should just mean it is actually more likely to happen in the future – sort of like speeding tickets.
That said, nobody wants to repeat failure and if you have made a stab at achieving something only to fall back, whether it was a relationship or a business, or even training your dog – than something needs to change. Change doesn’t have to be big though. That’s where the butterfly effect comes in – the theory that the smallest change can drastically impact the result. Changing your regular gas station could lead to true love or taking baths instead of showers lead to publishing your first novel. It isn’t what the change is that is necessarily significant but rather the truth behind the statement ‘every action has a reaction’. So if you don’t like the results you’ve been getting change something small in the equation. See what happens.
Next week: ‘I’m not in the mood’
