So how am I going to going to solve this one? I’m not entirely sure. Leaving it at ‘I have no idea’ is just another excuse so I’ll keep pressing on. The experts say when you’re stuck on how to proceed to look to something you solved successfully in the past and try the same process.

I’ve read books and tried online dating without liking the results – glad it works for some but it felt too forced for me (and trust me, feeling trapped does not project well!)

It’s a stretch, but I think the mental shift I underwent between working for a non-profit and making barely enough to pay rent and making ‘good’ money in high-tech isn’t that different from what’s required here. My skills didn’t really change – I didn’t go back to school, I looked the same, and wasn’t appreciably different in any way. The difference was in my attitude about myself and how I projected that in resumes and the like. And if you think romance and business are really that far apart try writing an online profile sometime. It’s all about stressing the good points.

It’s easy to say I’ll just change my attitude; doing it is something different. If you’ve ever tried to force a mental shift you know how hard it is. So I’ve laid it out for myself in small pieces -based on what I know I did before when I didn’t have a plan ahead of time. Will that solve everything? Probably not – it should shift enough that the next steps will become more clear. Then I’ll write the book that makes it all sound self-evident and obvious!

I’m not just leaving it at mental effort though – my other action item is simply to find more events around my other goals that will get me out of my usual haunts and mixing with new people at least once every two weeks – something other than home, work, and the train.

Next week: Treasure hunting – the hobby

Holding myself accountable

I’d say I’m holding my own on gardening, photography, and exercise – the last improved over the weekend with the threat of more drastic action.

Technorati Tags: excuses, self-perception