The No Excuses Project: the goal of true love

I wanted to save this topic for last – I would really like to avoid talking about it all together. That’s how deep the excuses run! But if I’m going to be honest with myself, and by extension with you, then it’s time.

First off, I’m not whining about being single – it has it’s good points. I’ve said and still believe, that I would prefer not to be single going forward as I think I’ve explored its many aspects fairly well. I know that in many ways I’ve subconsciously marked myself as unavailable because of how I’m thinking – which is where the excuses come in. With anything involving other people I can’t, and don’t want to, control someone else or influence them through manipulation, e.g. “The Rules”. This is about making sure my attitude and my actions aren’t stopping me without worrying about a guaranteed outcome.

Here are the excuses I know I’ve used in this area – actually, I think the list of the ones I haven’t used would be shorter:

• I don’t know what to do (where should I be hanging out? etc.)
• My perception is skewed (maybe I’m not being realistic…)
• It will require too much risk
• The past still has hold of me (I don’t let go of disappointments easily)
• It has never happened before
• I have too many other projects (relationships take time and I don
• ‘t seem to have any…)
• The timing isn’t right)
• I’m too old (and stuck in my ways)
• I’m too ___ (independant,set in my ways, overweight, tall, brainy, geeky…etc.)
• I’ll compromise because I’m not confident enough to fully commit (I don’t trust myself to turn away from a relationship that is mostly good but not really good enough)

That’s the bulk of them – next week I’ll address what I plan to do to stop using them against myself.

Holding myself accountable

So how is everything else going?

Photography – things are going well. The emphasis on picking up my camera more often is making me feel more creative and I’m producing better stuff

Gardening – Mother Nature has given me a reprieve with rain. The benefit to me is that the plan removes the guilt for not doing more.

Losing weight – just ok – I’m doing fairly well with food (except for the 8 mini Hershey’s I scarfed down at work…) but exercise is still lagging at about 50% of the goal.  If I can’t get that in the groove this week I’ll revisit the plan.

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