In the last week I’ve gotten email from some pretty reputable sources trying to get me to buy a pretty expensive online course (expensive as in over $1000). Both emails proclaimed this to be a very useful product coming from a market leader. Problem is that when I checked into it, that market leader wasn’t living up to his own hype regarding the “free” stuff he had made available.   Not that uncommon a scenario but here’s the thing – I don’t think any of them are lying. Instead they’re telling their version distorted by their own investment in the outcome. They probably wouldn’t think the product was so useful to me if there wasn’t a financial incentive to me buying.

It seems that ‘useful’ is a highly subjective word.  I once attended a seminar where the ultra-slick speaker said there was no need to take notes because he would email the notes to every attendee after the session so just pay attention to the speech.  I did get an email; as I recall it has his name at the top and the title of the speech. That was it.  The thing is I think this really was how he took notes in high school and college (as in he didn’t).

My point is that in this season of gift buying as well as people creatively searching for careers that don’t require an interview, make sure you can adequately test drive whatever it is you’re considering.  “You get what you pay for” isn’t quite as true as it once was – there’s more great stuff for free but it’s still pretty easy to hand over more cash than it’s really worth.

Technorati Tags: perceived value

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to get information when the knowledge holders are a closed community.  It’s not the same as the cool kids’ lunch table but it can feel like it.  For example, the travelling artists that sell at festivals – they might want to be helpful but if they’ve survived this far they know better than to say ‘yes, it’s been a great weekend and I made $10,000 (all of which is within five feet of me) to a complete stranger.  And another example being treasure hunters that aren’t all that keen to share the spot where they finally found some bounty after twenty years of looking and particularly not with someone that hasn’t even put forty hours in yet.  So you could whine about the unfairness of it all, or try this approach:

1. Put the time in – acknowledge to yourself that you are an outsider and have yet to earn your stripes.  Go to art shows, show up at the golf course with your metal detector, even if you don’t know what you’re doing.

2. Ask for help but limit yourself to just one question; the most burning and critical one I hope.  Nothing looks more manipulative than “here, show me how to do it” until the whole project has been done in demonstration. It worked on my dad when I was a kid but I’d be embarrassed to try it now.

3. Follow the rules, but don’t follow blindly.  If it’s illegal to metal detect in state parks, don’t do it.  But just because everyone else you see walks in straight lines doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try a zigzag.  If nothing else people will start asking you about it and you’ll get some conversation going.

4. Pay it forward – there is always someone more ignorant than you, offer help to others now, don’t wait until you’re sure you’re an expert.

5. Develop your intuition and trust your gut.  Most people are genuine but some are not.  If a hot tip doesn’t ring true, ask around and go with your instincts.

Technorati Tags: intuition, learning new things, self-esteem

I saw on a list of holidays that September is considered Self Improvement Month – probably made up by bloggers in an attempt to have something to say since most of us are either yearly adopters or don’t bother at all.  In any event it got me thinking about Fall and the start of the school year.  Autumn usually gets categorized as a time of slowing down, dying leaves, and colder weather moving people back inside.  Because I always loved going back to school, I’ve always felt like it is a time of new beginnings – not the homework part, but the chance to meet new people, take a class in a brand new subject, or explore a new part of the country (I changed schools a lot.)

Even though it’s been years since I was pursuing any kind of degree that feeling has never left.  There’s a feeling of anticipation in the air, of things about to happen…

Technorati Tags: change in perspective, trying new things

Tomorrow my dad starts his first round of chemo therapy.  This isn’t chemo designed to eliminate the cancer but to manage it, to keep it in check in order to wring a few more years out of life.  When I was growing up, cancer was like the Cold War, a low lying but  ever present threat, but it too has changed from what it meant twenty years ago.  Cancer used to be a battle that was either won or lost within a few years while friends and family rallied around and put as much of their lives on hold as possible to help or worry long distance, knowing that the outcome would be known all too soon. Viewing it as a chronic disease is the  new paradigm and it changes almost everything.

What hasn’t changed is that cancer is still a disease that impacts the whole family and even while I’m a player in this particular story, I find it fascinating to see how the family dynamic plays out, shifting and reforming depending on what’s going on and who’s feeling stressed.  Some of us pre-process fear and grief while others hold it at bay, some insist on ‘doing’ something just to exert a little control, while others become more passive with advice.  After a few years money gets more of a voice in the decision making than it ought to and yet, how can it not?

Family members seem to need the others to see things their way, what ’should’ be done or not done and even the patient isn’t excused – shouldn’t he/she be more scared?  Do they not understand what this means? The thing is, nobody knows for sure what it means. Just as there is now more time and more hope, there is an equal increase in uncertainty. It’s not feasible for people to drop everything for an unknown number of years and yet there are still doctor visits and hospital stays, more tests, more waiting for test results, good days and bad days. Family and neighbors do continue to help but there are also other needs and emergencies happening in the meantime as life goes on. The cancer patient is no longer the ongoing center of attention in the family drama. Now it’s a rotating role and sometimes that baton shifts gracefully and sometimes it doesn’t. We are all getting lessons in living well with ambiguity.

Technorati Tags: dealing with ambiguity

Yesterday my 18 year old cat, Isabeau, got the official diagnosis of kidney disease.  Apparently most cats will get this if they live long enough, the same way most elderly humans have at least some arthritis.  The question I have to answer for myself and for her is what is the right balance of intervention, money, and care?

Some will say it’s just a cat and others will say that no effort should be spared.  It’s true that she’s not a child (heck, even if she was human she’d be in her 90’s) but we’ve been a team for a very long time.  However, I can’t quite see that dragging her to the vet every few weeks would be something she’d vote for. So like many things I’ll be figuring this out one piece at a time and trying to balance all of the above.  Right now I’m ok with changing her diet to the special prescription only food – of course I haven’t seen the bill yet…  but I’m not ok with giving her IV fluids.  I’ve given shots before so it’s not a question of my nerves, just that this cat likes being in control of her movements and her environment, even more than other cats.  Forcing her to sit still with an IV every week feels wrong. That’s not a decision I made lightly and I’ve discussed it with the vet but it’s definitely where I separate from the majority of pet owners dealing with this.

The other challenge in all this is my perspective.  This isn’t a problem that can be faced, won, and we all move on. It’s something to be managed and I have to be able to switch my attention back to all the other challenges I’ve set myself.  The garden needs weeding, I’ve got marketing to get out, jewelry to make, and things to post that are way behind.  After a certain point, turning all this over in my mind becomes wasted effort. I should probably take a lesson from my cat; she doesn’t seem worried at all.

Technorati Tags: dealing with ambiguity, happiness in life