Self promotion for the inherently shy
March 9, 2010 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
It’s possible to be both extroverted and shy, or just shy in person but not in email – there are all kinds of combinations. Shyness isn’t something necessarily to overcome, the usual advice of the non-shy to those afflicted but neither is it a good excuse to do nothing. Self promotion seems to just keep getting more and more important as the world gets larger through all the points of connection. If you have been challenged with this lately, here’s some suggestions that just might help move your goals forward.
The power of three in the art of happiness
January 5, 2010 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
There is an implied stability in anything with three legs that is not present in anything with either two or four. In 
Jungian philosophy the number three is associated with creativity, self-expression, and optimism. By default a third option will get you out of either/or, black/white thinking and take you into the ambiguous area of maybe’s and shades of gray. It’s not a bad place to be and may take you places you had no idea you would get to.
I find it interesting that my solstice tradition (borrowed and adapted from the one in Write It Down, Make It Happen) involves three things I want to come into my life in the coming year and Chris Brogan’s personal New Year’s tradition involves three key words for the year. I don’t believe it’s accidental. The number three provides both balance and something that is still manageable.
If you are working on resolutions, or breaking things down into manageable steps, try for groupings of three. I think you’ll find it’s a technique that will get you thinking more than you may realize – for some things it’s hard to limit and for others you’ll scratch your head trying to find a third category. Sooner or later you discover some overlooked detail that will add clarity.
On New Year’s restrospectives and resolutions
December 31, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness, Uncategorized
I almost don’t want to add to the mess of blog posts on the topic of New Year’s, they tend to be a bit exhausting to read not to mention depressing if you haven’t published a best seller while having a child, been mentioned by Time magazine with the word “most” in the title, or scaled some other mountain.
I hope 2009 was a great year for you but if it wasn’t I’ll go out on a limb here and say you’re probably in pretty good company. For myself I’d have to label it as interesting and educational but I’d just as soon not repeat it, thank you very much. And while I could write up a list of the most popular posts from this site (How to get motivated quickly tops the list) I’d rather save that for its first birthday on Feb. 20th.
Which brings me to resolutions. I’ve nothing against them but I don’t do them on New Year’s. For the winter solstice on Dec. 21 I write up three things I want to exit from my life (like feeling anxious) and three things I want to come into my life (confidence). There’s a whole silly ritual involving cocoa powder and bonfires that I’ll save for later and I’m pretty sure that the powers of the Universe won’t object too much if want to try it in January instead of December. Chinese New Year usually comes around fairly quickly and I think all that red and gold, not to mention the dragons, helps get me a little more motivated. And then my birthday comes in a few more weeks which is also an excellent time to set goals and new trajectories – at least for me! So there are a great many fresh starts in about a six week period and New Year’s Day is one of the least interesting!
I’m also a big fan of picking an otherwise unnoteworthy day, devoid of public or personal holidays, to do something really big like stop smoking or start training for a marathon. Not as an excuse to delay mind you, but rather so you really have something to celebrate later that is truly personal and not attached to something else that appears bigger. Would you rather tell the story of how you quit on New Year’s Day or how you quit on January 17th?
If you do have a big goal in mind for either 2010 or another annual cycle, I highly recommend reading This Year I Will…: How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True
Give yourself permission to take your time
November 17, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
Maybe it’s just because I’ve been so immersed in the virtual world lately that it seems like the pressure has increased to be incredibly witty, insightful, and on topic at the drop of a hat. ‘If you’re not twittering, you’re not succeedding’ seems to be a popular mantra. I’m not wired that way – if I read something thought provoking I like to mull it over for a day or two before making a comment about it. When I get a Facebook invite from someone I don’t recognize I pull out my high-school yearbook to see if that rings any bells before I accept it (it’s amazing what 20+ years changes or doesn’t change!) But maybe it’s not so necessary to be the first voice or the loudest voice, even on the Internet. It just seems that way.
I’ve noticed that some of the bigger blogs, like zenhabits have removed the comment feature lately and I came across an article about a top gadget reviewer, David Pogue’s secret weapon, that attributes a large portion of his popularity to the fact that he never rushes in at the first opportunity, but actually waits quite a while before reviewing gadgets and technology – long past the point when geeks consider it new.
Most of the people out there that are giving advice on how not to miss out on the party (or the millions) are most likely a bit worried that they’ve missed out themselves. Maybe the party is actually behind them and if they just turned around and headed in a different direction things would be different. That doesn’t mean you get to use it as an excuse not to take action but absolutely do give yourself permission to go at your pace and not the Internet’s.
Are you letting your inner Oscar out?
November 10, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
It’s hard to miss the references to Sesame Street’s 40th birthday this week – I’m just thrilled that there’s something out there still that’s older than I am;-) I did see one article that I thought was thought provoking, The Oscar the Grouch Guide to Building a More Remarkable Blog. While it’s theoretically talking about blogging, the concept is relevant to just about anything where there is interaction between you and potential customers of “you” whether that’s writing or jewelry, dancing, or cooking. The less you edit yourself to fit ‘mainstream’ the more loyal your fans will be, even if that number is significantly smaller. And who doesn’t want loyal fans?
It can be a hard thing to remember because so much is reported in terms of large numbers – albums sold, books sold, apps downloaded but love, while harder to quantify, tends to last a lot longer. Oscar the Grouch definitely does things his way and is happy in his own unique way in the process. How else will new friends and fans find you
The natural order of chaos is to organize
October 27, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
There are days when I feel like the Queen of Starting New Things. Particularly this last year as I’ve tried to find the right entrepreneurial threads to tug. From blogging (now up to six) to jewelry to the brief bread enterprise and so on. I’ve filled out online profiles for contract jobs that never materialized and researched how to be an information broker. There have been times when it felt like nothing could possibly rise to the surface because there was too much floating there already. I don’t expect this to be the last time I feel that chaos has reign in my life, either.
But about a month ago I noticed things were changing – the chaos of all those possibilities had gradually begun to sift out into three main categories: photography, jewelry, and writing. Sure, there are some subcategories there – blogging and writing a novel are two different beasts, but at least they’re on the same family tree. And better yet, I’m happy with this trifecta; it feels right and it feels stable. All three areas have room to grow and require different conditions to flourish – meaning I don’t get bored and there is always something that is right to be doing wherever I am.
So if the first part sounds at all familiar, take a deep breath and just start experiencing. Let the things that don’t feel like they are moving you forward to something go. You don’t have to know what the something is, just that there is positive movement. Then see what categories start to emerge, you may find some very interesting patterns!
Where are you on the global scale of “everyone”?
October 22, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
Not that long ago I got randomly selected to be on a survey panel from my gas company. So every now and then I answer some online questions and get Amazon points in return. For the most part they are pretty innocuous questions about appliances and light bulbs but one time it was to preview energy conservation service announcements. I got seriously irked. Particularly at the one that said “everyone should turn down their thermostats to 70 degrees” as mine was set to 60! But it did get me to thinking that perhaps those of us that are conservative in whatever behavior hear these messages and feel that we must dial it back even more. Whether it’s ‘be careful what personal information you put on the Internet’ or ‘everyone should save more’ it would be a good idea to figure out the range of ‘everyone’ before making changes to what you already do.
You should be careful on the Internet, but there’s a big difference between posting your social security number and letting people know that you are a die-hard fan of Big Bird (isn’t everyone?) Yes, that last could be slightly embarrassing in certain circles, but if you really are a die-hard fan, don’t you owe to yourself to be all that you are? If you’re holding back because of the potential damage to your personal brand, what about the potential gain? What if you become the go-to person for Big Bird fans around the world and get interviewed on Oprah, thus sending everyone to your blog so that you become the number one site on the web? It’s definitely not going to happen to the person that is worried about what people might think – either now or in 30 years.
Cautionary advice has its place, but not if you are so far over on the scale that you really need to be taking more risks.
Adventure and treasure hunting
October 6, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
I was more into dinosaurs than pirates as a kid, but I’ve always loved a good treasure hunt (although not the kind where some adult already knows what and where…) So ever since I saw the Cash & Treasure episode about Spanish Armada gold on the Florida coast, I’ve been dying to go try my luck and that day has finally arrived, or will next week. I know that the odds are that my sister and I will come back empty handed, but the possibility exists for anything and everything to the right of that and it’s got me thinking about why adventure is so much fun.
A big part of it is that it’s not quantifiable. It would be virtually impossible to write a risk analysis or a business plan around treasure hunting. What would you say? Projected earnings are between $0 and $5,000,000? I think there’s a big relief for most people to get away from a plan for a bit, whether that’s with a metal detector or on a hike to a new spot looking for wildflowers. When you don’t know what could happen or what you’ll find, the entire journey is exciting.
By it’s very nature, adventure has a goal (gold and spices in the Far East) and a very hazy road map that quickly gets tossed away for inaccuracy. So how come when that happens in the other parts of our lives, we get resentful and start turning over rocks looking for that itemized list that will tell us how to get on? Most of us seem to want to be safe and adventurous all at the same time. However, outside of some theme parks I’ve never heard of that happening. That doesn’t mean I’m taking off for the beach forever, just that I know that the sense of possibility and excitement that comes with the thought of treasure is one that can come with any risk/goal combination we want to achieve. If you start with “I won’t find anything” and “it’s not worth trying” then it’s unlikely to fall out of the sky and hit you on the head.
Not all advice is created equal
September 21, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
Twice now in the last few weeks I’ve heard Jean Chatzky, the perky financial guru on the Today Show, refer potential entrepreneurs to S.C.O.R.E as the one stop shop for advice on starting a business. I’ve winced each time and since I’m trying to pay attention to these kinds of repeating signals, here goes.
It’s not that hard to see why she would point people to this organization, it’s free, it’s not affiliated with any company, and it’s national. It’s an easy, seemingly helpful reference. I sought advice there several years ago and would certainly not tell someone not to try it out – it ’s just that the people I met with and the advice I got was so contrary to getting a business off the ground, I’m still stunned. It’s one of those organizations that has the best of intentions, but the counselors are retired business people, mostly from large corporations that succeeded by and large by playing it safe and having hit retirement age were even less risk-inclined. Not to mention they had all come from pre-Internet businesses. Not only has the world changed but if I’d gotten all the possible liability insurance that was being recommended for a craft business I’d still be saving up. Insurance is a good thing but it often can’t be in the first year’s budget unless you can’t open without it. When I looked around I found my same experiences echoed by others which I wish I could have known back then. What I should have done was gone to the street and talked to business owners, but that was scary and making a private appointment seemed a safer way to admit my ignorance. It was entirely too safe.
My point here isn’t to knock the SCORE organization, it’s just to point out that often the most referenced advice isn’t what you need to hear and you should always go in with a large bag of salt. I got so scared by the advice I was given I didn’t make any progress for a couple of years; convinced that I had to have all these things in place before I could start selling. Strangely my state tax organization was less conservative!
Whatever kind of challenge you are looking at, keep digging for other, less common resources. Find the people that match the profile of who you want to be and see where they got advice in the last five years. And keep peeling away the layers until you find what works. Advice may put more steps in the plan – there’s no good way to avoid medical school if you want to be a doctor, but it shouldn’t blur the pathway so that you can’t see what you need to do to accomplish the goal. Helpful people are lovely to behold but sometimes become a hindrance.
What does Universe delivery look like?
September 14, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
I’m not a follower of the molecule-alignment of visualization, but I do believe that you have to put it out there so that your brain and those of your friends are attuned to that particular wavelength -cosmic networking in other words. I did that about five or six weeks ago when I decided that I needed a treadmill if I’m going to get back on my (more) healthy exercise patterns. When I went into an office I got a lot of exercise walking from the train and at lunch; now that I’m working from home, the commute doesn’t add up to much.
So I researched models and prices, gasped, then researched used equipment, sighed, checked Craig’s list, groaned over the condition of what was offered and let it go. I built a little stepper out of paving blocks and figured it would come eventually. Then one morning I passed a free one on my walk through the neighborhood. I thought hard about it but it was also pretty beat up, it looked like it might shake apart and then I’d have to figure out how to get it to the dump. Regretfully I moved on. Last week my sister told me she’d missed out on one in super clearance with an employee discount to go with it. Oh well.
Yesterday she called me with an offer for a free one from a neighbor. It works. It’s in good condition and it’s now sitting in my living room just waiting for me to get over hauling it up the stairs!
So what’s my point here?
Things do eventually happen but it’s not always the first option that comes your way, or rather it’s worth waiting for the one that meets your minimum criteria (for men and treadmills;-) It also required spreading the word, my sister didn’t know I was looking for one until I mentioned it. I wasn’t holding out for winning a brand new $5000 machine but I did want one that would hold up and get me moving while feeling safe. It was worth the wait.
What are you missing to help you achieve an important goal? Have you told anyone?
