It seems like the “experts” keep telling us it’s easy – whatever it is they’re talking about. Even if you know it’s not, a little bit of that thinking can creep in, particularly if the message seems to be coming from all directions. Not too long ago I was reading an article on the Launch Coach totally an another topic but it brought home the point that we’ve become conditioned to believe that life is supposed to operate on a push button. Life is difficult when you have to write something out by hand and impossible beyond that.  No wonder so many people stop in their tracks.

And yet studies are starting to show that what truly makes people happy are challenges, and the accomplishing thereof.  We aren’t wired to have life be easy. So if you’re stumped by something that seems impossibly long and hard maybe it’s time to reset the scale.

Technorati Tags: achieving goals, challenges, the way to happiness

It’s possible to be both extroverted and shy, or just shy in person but not in email – there are all kinds of combinations. Shyness isn’t something necessarily to overcome, the usual advice of the non-shy to those afflicted but neither is it a good excuse to do nothing. Self promotion seems to just keep getting more and more important as the world gets larger through all the points of connection. If you have been challenged with this lately, here’s some suggestions that just might help move your goals forward.

Technorati Tags: facing fears, marketing for the shy

There is an implied stability in anything with three legs that is not present in anything with either two or four. In Jungian philosophy the number three is associated with creativity, self-expression, and optimism. By default a third option will get you out of either/or, black/white thinking and take you into the ambiguous area of maybe’s and shades of gray.  It’s not a bad place to be and may take you places you had no idea you would get to.

I find it interesting that my solstice tradition (borrowed and adapted from the one in Write It Down, Make It Happen) involves three things I want to come into my life in the coming year and Chris Brogan’s personal New Year’s tradition involves three key words for the year. I don’t believe it’s accidental.  The number three provides both balance and something that is still manageable.

If you are working on resolutions, or breaking things down into manageable steps, try for groupings of three. I think you’ll find it’s a technique that will get you thinking more than you may realize – for some things it’s hard to limit and for others you’ll scratch your head trying to find a third category. Sooner or later you discover some overlooked detail that will add clarity.

Technorati Tags: Personal Growth

I almost don’t want to add to the mess of blog posts on the topic of New Year’s, they tend to be a bit exhausting to read not to mention depressing if you haven’t published a best seller while having a child, been mentioned by Time magazine with the word “most” in the title, or scaled some other mountain.

I hope 2009 was a great year for you but if it wasn’t I’ll go out on a limb here and say you’re probably in pretty good company. For myself I’d have to label it as interesting and educational but I’d just as soon not repeat it, thank you very much. And while I could write up a list of the most popular posts from this site (How to get motivated quickly tops the list) I’d rather save that for its first birthday on Feb. 20th.

Which brings me to resolutions.  I’ve nothing against them but I don’t do them on New Year’s.  For the winter solstice  on Dec. 21 I write up three things I want to exit from my life (like feeling anxious) and three things I want to come into my life (confidence). There’s a whole silly ritual involving cocoa powder and bonfires that I’ll save for later and I’m pretty sure that the powers of the Universe won’t object too much if want to try it in January instead of December.  Chinese New Year usually comes around fairly quickly and I think all that red and gold, not to mention the dragons, helps get me a little more motivated. And then my birthday comes in a few more weeks which is also an excellent time to set goals and new trajectories – at least for me! So there are a great many fresh starts in about a six week period and New Year’s Day is one of the least interesting!

I’m also a big fan of picking an otherwise unnoteworthy day, devoid of public or personal holidays, to do something really big like stop smoking or start training for a marathon. Not as an excuse to delay mind you, but rather so you really have something to celebrate later that is truly personal and not attached to something else that appears bigger.  Would you rather tell the story of how you quit on New Year’s Day or how you quit on January 17th?

If you do have a big goal in mind for either 2010 or another annual cycle, I highly recommend reading This Year I Will…: How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True (affiliate link.) Particularly if you’ve tried and failed in the past, this book might just help you avoid the same pitfalls and come out smiling more broadly at the year’s end.

Technorati Tags: setting goals

Maybe it’s just because I’ve been so immersed in the virtual world lately that it seems like the pressure has increased to be incredibly witty, insightful, and on topic at the drop of a hat. ‘If you’re not twittering, you’re not succeedding’ seems to be a popular mantra. I’m not wired that way  – if I read something thought provoking I like to mull it over for a day or two before making a comment about it. When I get a Facebook invite from someone I don’t recognize I pull out my high-school yearbook to see if that rings any bells before I accept it (it’s amazing what 20+ years changes or doesn’t change!)  But maybe it’s not so necessary to be the first voice or the loudest voice, even on the Internet. It just seems that way.

I’ve noticed that some of the bigger blogs, like zenhabits have removed the comment feature lately and I came across an article about a top gadget reviewer, David Pogue’s secret weapon, that attributes a large portion of his popularity to the fact that he never rushes in at the first opportunity, but actually waits quite a while before reviewing gadgets and technology – long past the point when geeks consider it new.

Most of the people out there that are giving advice on how not to miss out on the party (or the millions) are most likely a bit worried that they’ve missed out themselves.  Maybe the party is actually behind them and if they just turned around and headed in a different direction things would be different.  That doesn’t mean you get to use it as an excuse not to take action but absolutely do give yourself permission to go at your pace and not the Internet’s.

Technorati Tags: dealing with impatience, peer pressure