That was the title of the book I picked up last night at the used book store – a place of great serendipity when it comes to things catching my eye.  French women obviously know something so I figured it was worth a few dollars to find out exactly what. It’s both thought provoking and entertaining – I’ve no desire to turn myself into a Parisian elite but it occurred to me that there’s another version of ‘having it all’ out there; Gallic confidence, Italian fashion, American ambition and Latin dance moves.  Wouldn’t that be lovely?

Although there is no backing away from the contents of the family photo album featuring dour ancestors of a decidedly puritanical persuasion I came away contemplating that my soul may be far more French than I’d previously thought. Certainly not completely, but some of the attitudes and perceptions I’ve held for years were on the page as uniquely French. Hmmm.

The rest of the week has been basically productive – small tasks taken towards larger goals. Unremarkable in themselves, but progress just the same. Even though there is always more to do I’ve set aside Memorial Day weekend for some serious lazying about and pampering. I can hardly wait.

Technorati Tags: gain self confidence

Very few of us go through life knowing exactly what the next step should be. So the refrain of ‘I don’t know what to do’ is not a new one. Yet it’s the battle cry of excuses for those of us that have an inborn need to get it right on the first try. I sometimes think it’s a condition similar to dealing with alcoholism – you can be recovering, but never recovered.

If  the excuse becomes the reason not to do anything then it’s not okay. Some of the time we do know what to do next we just don’t want to do it – in which case, suck it up and get it over with!  If there seem to be too many options, make a list and go with the one that seems the most promising – just keep the list so you can come back and try number 2 if the first one isn’t the perfect solution.

Most of all, don’t let yourself get paralyzed by indecision – something I’m very familiar with! Take it in small steps if it seems too daunting but move. Do something.

Next week: ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’ (or next week, month, year…)

Technorati Tags: common excuses, stopping yourself

I almost don’t want to add to the mess of blog posts on the topic of New Year’s, they tend to be a bit exhausting to read not to mention depressing if you haven’t published a best seller while having a child, been mentioned by Time magazine with the word “most” in the title, or scaled some other mountain.

I hope 2009 was a great year for you but if it wasn’t I’ll go out on a limb here and say you’re probably in pretty good company. For myself I’d have to label it as interesting and educational but I’d just as soon not repeat it, thank you very much. And while I could write up a list of the most popular posts from this site (How to get motivated quickly tops the list) I’d rather save that for its first birthday on Feb. 20th.

Which brings me to resolutions.  I’ve nothing against them but I don’t do them on New Year’s.  For the winter solstice  on Dec. 21 I write up three things I want to exit from my life (like feeling anxious) and three things I want to come into my life (confidence). There’s a whole silly ritual involving cocoa powder and bonfires that I’ll save for later and I’m pretty sure that the powers of the Universe won’t object too much if want to try it in January instead of December.  Chinese New Year usually comes around fairly quickly and I think all that red and gold, not to mention the dragons, helps get me a little more motivated. And then my birthday comes in a few more weeks which is also an excellent time to set goals and new trajectories – at least for me! So there are a great many fresh starts in about a six week period and New Year’s Day is one of the least interesting!

I’m also a big fan of picking an otherwise unnoteworthy day, devoid of public or personal holidays, to do something really big like stop smoking or start training for a marathon. Not as an excuse to delay mind you, but rather so you really have something to celebrate later that is truly personal and not attached to something else that appears bigger.  Would you rather tell the story of how you quit on New Year’s Day or how you quit on January 17th?

If you do have a big goal in mind for either 2010 or another annual cycle, I highly recommend reading This Year I Will…: How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True (affiliate link.) Particularly if you’ve tried and failed in the past, this book might just help you avoid the same pitfalls and come out smiling more broadly at the year’s end.

Technorati Tags: setting goals