Natural abundance
October 5, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Visual Meditation of the Week
Salmon berries are one of those local wild delicacies found sporadically along hiking trails. A few people graze on them happily in passing while others abstain; some because of ignorance as to whether they are edible and others because they didn’t come rinsed off and wrapped in cellophane.
While it’s a good idea not to eat things you aren’t positive are edible, it’s another thing entirely never to look it up or observe others and ask questions.
Are you passing up equally succulent opportunities, food or otherwise, because of inflexible rules? Or out of a refusal to ask questions?
Salmon berry, Juliet Chase, all rights reserved
The No Excuses Project: “I can’t afford it”
August 5, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under No Excuses Project
When I began this project last week and drew “I can’t afford it” from the bowl of excuses, I wasn’t sure what to think. It seemed like a big one to tackle first; it’s probably one of the top three excuses of mankind.
On the other hand I have a pretty good relationship with money and while the lottery and trust funds have so far escaped me, I get by – in part because I do tell myself ‘I can’t afford it’ and save my money. Which is great for getting by but doesn’t accomplish much else. It is definitely one of the memes that goes back generations without interruption. I was a little surprised by what came up during the week and while I haven’t put this excuse out of my life, I think I’m much more conscious of where and how I use it:
Taking a vacation
I decided to take a short vacation anyway although I told myself before and during that I really couldn’t afford it. The irony is that the destination was so disappointing that I chose free camping over the pre-arranged accommodations and passed up an expensive planned activity so it ended up costing me only about a third of what I’d originally thought. I didn’t have a great time but it turned out I could afford it! And now I know, as opposed to thinking it was something that would have to wait forever.
Getting a dog
I’ve been thinking about getting a dog for some time and the owners of the pooches I stop to pet are starting to look at me funny because it’s clear I love them. Every time I seriously consider it I back down because of the cost of boarding and vet bills. As I’ve pondered this one after meeting Ramona on Wednesday, an elderly Rottweiler that didn’t know she was one, I’ve concluded that it would not be a fair thing right now to introduce a new family member to my elderly cat. However, that doesn’t mean putting it away. What I can be doing is gradually accumulating paraphernalia like water bowls, blankets and leashes, researching how to best handle the whole pooper-scooper issue etc. That way when the circumstances and the right dog align, I’ll be ready.
Being self-employed
I’m not sure why I tell myself I can’t succeed at this because I can’t afford it but the brain isn’t always logical. Somewhere in my circuits is this idea that I can’t afford to bridge the financial gaps that happen in business, can’t afford the initial outlay necessary to get things off the ground and can’t afford to fail. I read some advice on dealing with excuses that pointed out that if you aren’t treating something like a life and death matter then you aren’t really giving it everything you’ve got. I definitely need to treat my career goals like a life and death matter. It feels like one so it’s time to stop hanging back a little, keeping one foot inside the room instead of putting both out on the ledge. Part of me feels the pressure to fall back on what’s safe, what my family thinks I should do, even though they try hard not to say it. But that too would be an excuse not to really try. The truth is I can’t afford to keep telling myself ‘I can’t afford it.’
Next week: “I’m too ____” (fat, tall, out of shape, opinionated, reclusive, etc.)
An exercise in satisfaction
May 5, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
This is my assignment for myself this week and I’m offering it to you as well if you want to try it. Maybe we can compare notes later. I’m curious to see what happens with it and what I end up choosing.
Fill in the blank of the following sentence, “This week I’m going to have the most satisfying _____ ever” and then make it happen this week. That blank could be anything that tickles your fancy: a bath, a massage, a dessert, a kiss, a picnic, hiking, you get the idea. If you went for a bath it could involve lighting candles, bringing in a CD player and a glass of wine, etc. Just make it the best experience of it’s kind you’ve ever had.
What’s the point? Besides just being fun, I think we all tend to focus on the long-term goals and just get by in the meantime. Sort of the dessert after vegetables mentality which is fine for dinner but if the vegetable course lasts a few years or decades it’s a different story. I know I’m guilty of cutting a few corners unnecessarily just to give myself the illusion of efficiency or because I’ve convinced myself that it doesn’t really make that much difference.
Isn’t it time we made some changes in our day to day lives to reflect the life we want to achieve? None of this has to cost money, it’s really more about putting the effort and the thought into abundance and excellence in the moment. And rather than focusing on the perfection of the noun you filled in, try for the emotion of satisfaction. What would make the most satisfying dessert as opposed to is this dessert perfect? I think the difference between this exercise and just treating yourself is putting the emphasis on making it the best of it’s kind; how far are you willing to take it? How creative can you get?
I haven’t decided how I’m completing this sentence yet and the week is already ticking away. Any ideas?
How to broaden your perspective by changing just one word
April 28, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Health and Happiness
I can’t take any credit for this one; I recently read it in The Art of Possibility and didn’t think much about it at first. The simple concept suggested using ‘and’ instead of ‘but’ when joining two clauses. It was a brief section in the book and I noted it mildly as I read on. A few days later I started to realize just how often I use the word ‘but’ in a conjunctive sense. For example:
- I want to drive to Alaska, but I also want to see the Greek islands
- I want to make money blogging, but I need to pay the bills now
- I want a loving relationship, but I appreciate some of the things that go with being single
These sound innocent enough except that I really use the word ‘but’ frequently. Ouch. At first I didn’t even think that I’m limiting my options by doing this; more of setting a priority or qualifying the desire until I sat with these sentences having rephrased them with ‘and’ instead:
- I want to drive to Alaska, and I also want to see the Greek islands
- I want to make money blogging, and I need to pay the bills now
- I want a loving relationship, and I appreciate some of the things that go with being single
It doesn’t imply that I can do anything simultaneously or suggest anything impossible. Yet there’s a subtle difference between the two sets of sentences. Maybe there’s a solution out there that involves both Alaska and the Greek islands that I wouldn’t find if I were only looking for one side of the equation. I don’t know yet. What I do know is that the second set seems infinitely more open to possibility and the potential for abundance. It doesn’t deny one thought or desire in favor of the other; it makes them more equal. So while I work on reducing my use of the ‘b’ word, try it for yourself and let me know if it makes a difference for you.
A little daily electronic encouragement with Notes from the Universe
March 17, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Importance of Motivation
I’m not a big fan of having ‘stuff’ show up in my email inbox on a daily basis. Even if I’ve signed up for it, often as not I’ve relegated it to the spam filter within a month because they pile up or require too many clicks. But not always. There is something about the Notes from the Universe that is appealing in the quirky encouragement they offer. After a year I still find myself looking forward to it each morning (Monday through Friday) like the fortune cookie with a Chinese meal. Sometimes they’re eerily on target, other times not, but never depressing and so far they haven’t repeated.
Maybe it’s just having a positive anonymous perspective to put on things but it does seem to help face down the daily challenges and discouragements. Be sure to scan down the email to the punchline (below the advertising.) There is always that last little garnish that many people miss – I suppose it’s to get you to read the advertising but just scroll down to the same spot quickly!
The value of adding joy to the everyday moments
March 11, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
It’s funny how people tend to focus on the big moments and events in life as being the most joyful; things like graduation,weddings, etc. And these should be joyful occasions, but they aren’t nearly frequent enough to live on joyfully. It’s the small everyday things where a drop of pleasure repeated will multiply and stretch to last.
Here’s a simple way to start adding more joy into the everyday moments. Start by looking at your daily routine for the tasks and moments that you repeat so often that they are almost unconscious. Things like brushing your teeth or grabbing that first cup of coffee. Pick one and then think about ways to bring more pleasure and joy to that moment, using all five senses. For example, are the coffee cups in your cupboard there out of convenience (free, cheap, gifts) or is each one truly a representation of the perfect coffee cup? The right shape, color, thinness, to suit your mood on a given day? If not, start weeding out the ones that are simply functional and begin a quest for mugs that feel, look, and taste the way you want them too; bringing just a little more joy into your day, everyday. There’s no time limit and no rules. Enjoy the process of bringing beauty and pleasure into your surroundings in small, inexpensive ways that don’t add clutter or simply more ‘stuff’.
And yes, even brushing your teeth can be brought to a new level – try different toothpastes until you find one you really like the taste of (comparatively anyway!) Look for toothbrush holders that make you smile or get one of those faucet attachments with LED lights that makes the water look colored. (Brushed Chrome Colored Faucet Light Heat Sensitive Color Changing)
If you keep with this, gradually improving your experience with your daily routine it won’t be all that long before moving through the day feels a bit easier and lighter.
Create an abundance allowance to change your relationship with money
March 2, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Health and Happiness
I don’t know about you, but the Puritans seemed to have had an undue influence on my childhood. I was raised never to pay full price and that anything not practical was well, frivolous. Deciding to leave behind a focus on paucity for one of abundance wasn’t difficult at all, but doing it seemed nearly impossible. It was such a well worn groove that I knew it couldn’t happen over night so I gave myself an abundance allowance; a weekly amount of money that I had to spend by the end of the month on ‘frivolous’ things. Just like a monetary allowance helps kids learn about saving, budgeting, and responsibility an abundance allowance helps adults learn about letting go, playing, and loving yourself by not putting you last on the list of too many things.
Finding a sense of abundance can be a challenge made worse when the news, your checkbook, and neighbors are all reiterating that there is now less to go around. That only makes it more important to feel a sense of possibility and prosperity in your daily life. Have you noticed that when you worry about money, you seem to have less of it? Even if it’s just from subtracting it so many times in your mind that you simply feel poorer.
When I set out to overcome this I determined to run the experiment for a full year. My inner Scrooge was able to mostly let go because I set the money aside at the beginning of the year in a fixed amount so that it wasn’t interfering with other parts of my budget. The amount of money doesn’t really matter, so even if all you can justify to yourself is $1 a week that can still be very effective (and that’s only $52 for a full year).
What you spend it on is really what appeals to you – even the shopping trips can turn into an adventure although if you’re like me you may have to be firm with yourself to actually spend it and spend it on something you really want rather than just getting it over with. The rule is that you budget the money evenly for each week. It can accumulate for a few weeks but no longer than the given calendar month (so the money needs to be gone for March before the allowance for the first week of April starts.) If you start feeling like you need to save for longer than that then either readjust the amount down (it may be taking too much from your household budget) or consider that what you’re saving for is really a necessity and not an abundance item.
Try for things that make you feel happy when you see it or use it: a perfect coffee cup, glitter crayons, a book on a topic you’ve wanted to learn about, snazzy gold paperclips, a movie you want to see that’s not part of your regular entertainment budget. If you have a little more cash to spare consider a class at the community college or dance studio, an item that you formerly would never spend that much on that you really love or an luxury upgrade to something practical like a fountain pen for your journal instead of the usual office-supply variety.
If you find yourself feeling really guilty over spending just on yourself, give a matching amount to charity. But I think you’ll find that you are more generous with others both in time and money if you know how to be generous with yourself without guilt or expectations.
