5 tips for spring cleaning your mind

There’s something about spring cleaning that gives a fresh perspective to a familiar room; maybe it’s just reacquainting yourself with the details that aren’t so apparent day to day. The same is true for all those internal thoughts and plans.  Here are five relatively simple things you can do to clean out the mental cobwebs.

1. Throw away or give away all those half-finished projects; those things that you started or set aside materials for more than six months ago but that you haven’t touched in the last 60 days.  Really be honest about the likelihood and your desire to finish them.  If they don’t make that cut give them to someone that will find value in finishing it or just get rid of it and cross it off the list.  You’ll free up physical space, mental space, and lose some guilt as well.
2. Update your to-do list, goals and risk lists. Gather any and all paper and electronic lists and go over them with an open mind. Check off the things that have been done, remove things that are no longer pertinent (it’s ok to let go of a goal not yet accomplished if it’s no longer a dream.)  And add anything new that’s come up.  Also, if you’re a habitual list maker think about consolidating lists so there aren’t so many to keep track of.
3. Clear the air with other people.  If something has been bugging you, even if it goes back to your childhood, bring it up with that person in a non-confrontational way.  Even if it doesn’t completely mend the hurt feelings, finding out why they said or did what they did will free you up from wondering and speculating.  It’s amazing how many hurtful things get said when someone simply isn’t feeling well; finding that out helps put it in better perspective.
4. Let go of any fears about money, kids, grades, whatever for one week.  You can pick them back up after seven days if you really want to.  And turn off the TV and radio for the same week; yes, really.  If something really dire happens, someone will tell you.  Then see what comes to fill this sudden void.
5. Rearrange your environment and your routine. This doesn’t have to be drastic unless you want it to be.  Just try moving pictures around to different walls than they were on before. Go for a walk or run in the neighborhood instead of the gym, take the headphones off on the bus, eat breakfast in the living room.  Switch it up a bit.

Technorati Tags: achieving goals, difficult conversations, fear, reflection, routine, spring cleaning

How to stop creating your own negative reality

Have you ever dreaded a conversation with a boss or coworker or even a spouse so much that you find yourself playing the different roles inside your head ahead of the actual conversation?  And how often does the real conversation mimic the one in your head?

Odds are good that since as much as 80% of communication is nonverbal that you could be ‘leading the witness’ and making things more uncomfortable than they need to be. Think of someone that goes to the boss to ask for a raise but doesn’t think they’ll get it.  How often does the boss say yes in that situation?  That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have the uncomfortable conversations or that you should like someone that you really don’t. It just means it’s a good idea to leave some of the input to the other party.

If you can stop yourself from predicting the outcome of the conversation or what the other person is likely to say, you may be surprised at what happens.  So how do you do that?  Mostly by stopping the voices in your head. Prep for any difficult conversation on paper.  List out what you want, what problems are occurring, things that you know, and leave out the things that you are guessing.  Then every time you hear yourself say “he’s going to say…” stop yourself, remind yourself that you don’t know what the other person will say, and focus on your list instead.  Notice what really happens in the meeting, pretend to be a silent observer even as you’re talking.  It only takes a time or two of seeing things not go quite as badly as you might have predicted to start to stop leading with your chin and spoiling for a fight.

Technorati Tags: dealing with difficult people, difficult conversations, fear, mind loops, relationships, trusting yourself