The economy of happiness
June 15, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Self Help Motivation
The energy for change often comes from adversity
April 8, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Self Help Motivation
Mt. Haleakala, HI - Juliet Chase
I remember the moment I decided to take charge of my own unhappiness instead of just hoping that something would come along to fix it. It was a few months after 9/11 when I was working for a large software company famous for its testosterone-driven management style. Not surprisingly they were having trouble retaining female employees so they decided to offer a series of forums open only to women. I think it was supposed to make us happier with our lot or something. I only remember two things the first speaker said; one was to take $50 in $1 bills and scatter them in your sock drawer so that every morning you’d feel wealthy (don’t knock it ’til you try it:-) and the other was that if your manager is publicly undermining you in meetings you need to quit because that’s an unfixable situation. So I did. It took a few months to work up the courage but I did it and I didn’t have another job lined up.
Then I got the speaker’s slim book from the library and ping-ponged through recommended reading lists until I started to realize the difference between a real dream and a rescue fantasy. I doubt I would have done any of that, or attended that talk if I’d just been mildly discontented. I don’t think my story is unique; it seems generally true that peaks are paired with valleys. The more extreme the valley the higher the potential peak. Avoidance will result in no pulse; an even line of endurance often masked with Prozac (at least in the case of some of those software colleagues.)
So if, or rather when, you find yourself in the valley of adversity, let the frustration and the hurt and anything else negative that might be happening fuel you towards positive change. Look at it as starting from the bottom and just open your ears and your mind to new inputs. Check your library listings, community centers, and the local Y for free talks. Walk into the library and just browse the shelves to see what catches your eye. Discretely eavesdrop on conversations on the bus. Actively seek to be listening but let the answers come of their own volition. As long as you aren’t looking for justification for staying down you are bound to find some nugget of advice, some quotation or idea that get your juices flowing again. It probably won’t involve anything quite as drastic as quitting a job, but you’ll know what’s right for you because it will germinate and take root. It will stay with you until you take the appropriate action.
