Beginning
January 9, 2011 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Visual Meditation of the Week
Real, lasting change comes from within.
Looking inward can be like standing at the edge of the jungle… without bug repellent.
But there is beauty in the tangled vines. And there is beauty in you.
Are you ready to explore?
Knowledge
May 1, 2010 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Visual Meditation of the Week
Many of us were raised on the principle that vanity is the root of all evil. It could be true, but there’s a wide spectrum of seeing yourself in a positive light long before you get to the point of irritating other people by constantly talking about yourself. You don’t even have to say this to anyone -just find at least three things you really like about yourself. Three things you truly believe regardless of what other people have said in the past.
An exercise in satisfaction
May 5, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
This is my assignment for myself this week and I’m offering it to you as well if you want to try it. Maybe we can compare notes later. I’m curious to see what happens with it and what I end up choosing.
Fill in the blank of the following sentence, “This week I’m going to have the most satisfying _____ ever” and then make it happen this week. That blank could be anything that tickles your fancy: a bath, a massage, a dessert, a kiss, a picnic, hiking, you get the idea. If you went for a bath it could involve lighting candles, bringing in a CD player and a glass of wine, etc. Just make it the best experience of it’s kind you’ve ever had.
What’s the point? Besides just being fun, I think we all tend to focus on the long-term goals and just get by in the meantime. Sort of the dessert after vegetables mentality which is fine for dinner but if the vegetable course lasts a few years or decades it’s a different story. I know I’m guilty of cutting a few corners unnecessarily just to give myself the illusion of efficiency or because I’ve convinced myself that it doesn’t really make that much difference.
Isn’t it time we made some changes in our day to day lives to reflect the life we want to achieve? None of this has to cost money, it’s really more about putting the effort and the thought into abundance and excellence in the moment. And rather than focusing on the perfection of the noun you filled in, try for the emotion of satisfaction. What would make the most satisfying dessert as opposed to is this dessert perfect? I think the difference between this exercise and just treating yourself is putting the emphasis on making it the best of it’s kind; how far are you willing to take it? How creative can you get?
I haven’t decided how I’m completing this sentence yet and the week is already ticking away. Any ideas?
Love yourself because of (not in spite of) your imperfections
March 18, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Health and Happiness
Somewhere in a book on my shelf there is a quotation (which of course I can’t find right now) that says that we are honored for our talents, but loved for our imperfections.
We spend so much time trying to weed out and reduce our flaws as though they were cancer cells. And true, we could all probably stand to be better listeners, more charitable to our neighbors etc. But is perfection really a worthy goal?
The funny thing about perfection if you think about it is that it’s really quite boring. There are no surprises, nothing unexpected, nothing dramatic, nothing humorous. All those things come from the less than perfect. If you think about someone that you perceive as being closer to perfection than most mortals, what is it that makes them appealing? Unique? If you were called to the morgue to identify the body, what characteristics would identify that person as different from others of a similar profile? My guess is that most of the things you might list here would generally be classified as an imperfection; a gap in the teeth, a mole, a scar, a bad dancer, stubborn, addiction to reality tv, you name it. Even high profile models are often ‘unique’ in being short (less than 6′) having a mole or a strong jaw. Something that brings them down just a tad from being physically ‘perfect’.
Physical ideals get the most press, but attitudes are probably even more important and harder to identify. A few years back I broke my arm in a rather embarrassing way. It was an after work event and I walked around the table to get away from a loud talker. I carried my beer with me, slipped on something and for some unknown reason tried to save the beer in my right hand while putting all my weight on my left wrist as I landed. I was embarrassed, mortified, a bit defensive (I was NOT inebriated) and there was no way to make this a secret when there were about 20 witnesses who thought it made a hilarious water cooler story at work the next day.
Then a funny thing happened. I noticed that when I told the complete story to strangers who asked about the cast on my arm, they warmed up to me – not just in sympathy, but because they could relate to me and all of those emotions. I don’t think I was ever any one’s idea of even close to perfect, but you wouldn’t be too far off to describe me as reserved and someone that played it safe. Someone that worried about what other people were thinking. I was used to being respected for my skills and talents and worked hard to present a competent and professional demeanor. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I was more successful in all aspects of my life when I showed my flaws and my humanness to the world without judging myself first.
I wish I could say that the six weeks in the cast cured me of self-doubt and self-consciousness completely. It didn’t, it just brought the lesson home and it’s one that I continue to work on. If any of this resonates with you, I recommend M.J. Ryan’s book Trusting Yourself: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed and Live More Happily with Less Effort Without trust, there really can’t be love.
The value of adding joy to the everyday moments
March 11, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Pursuit of Happiness
It’s funny how people tend to focus on the big moments and events in life as being the most joyful; things like graduation,weddings, etc. And these should be joyful occasions, but they aren’t nearly frequent enough to live on joyfully. It’s the small everyday things where a drop of pleasure repeated will multiply and stretch to last.
Here’s a simple way to start adding more joy into the everyday moments. Start by looking at your daily routine for the tasks and moments that you repeat so often that they are almost unconscious. Things like brushing your teeth or grabbing that first cup of coffee. Pick one and then think about ways to bring more pleasure and joy to that moment, using all five senses. For example, are the coffee cups in your cupboard there out of convenience (free, cheap, gifts) or is each one truly a representation of the perfect coffee cup? The right shape, color, thinness, to suit your mood on a given day? If not, start weeding out the ones that are simply functional and begin a quest for mugs that feel, look, and taste the way you want them too; bringing just a little more joy into your day, everyday. There’s no time limit and no rules. Enjoy the process of bringing beauty and pleasure into your surroundings in small, inexpensive ways that don’t add clutter or simply more ‘stuff’.
And yes, even brushing your teeth can be brought to a new level – try different toothpastes until you find one you really like the taste of (comparatively anyway!) Look for toothbrush holders that make you smile or get one of those faucet attachments with LED lights that makes the water look colored. (Brushed Chrome Colored Faucet Light Heat Sensitive Color Changing)
If you keep with this, gradually improving your experience with your daily routine it won’t be all that long before moving through the day feels a bit easier and lighter.
Create an abundance allowance to change your relationship with money
March 2, 2009 by Juliet Chase
Filed under Health and Happiness
I don’t know about you, but the Puritans seemed to have had an undue influence on my childhood. I was raised never to pay full price and that anything not practical was well, frivolous. Deciding to leave behind a focus on paucity for one of abundance wasn’t difficult at all, but doing it seemed nearly impossible. It was such a well worn groove that I knew it couldn’t happen over night so I gave myself an abundance allowance; a weekly amount of money that I had to spend by the end of the month on ‘frivolous’ things. Just like a monetary allowance helps kids learn about saving, budgeting, and responsibility an abundance allowance helps adults learn about letting go, playing, and loving yourself by not putting you last on the list of too many things.
Finding a sense of abundance can be a challenge made worse when the news, your checkbook, and neighbors are all reiterating that there is now less to go around. That only makes it more important to feel a sense of possibility and prosperity in your daily life. Have you noticed that when you worry about money, you seem to have less of it? Even if it’s just from subtracting it so many times in your mind that you simply feel poorer.
When I set out to overcome this I determined to run the experiment for a full year. My inner Scrooge was able to mostly let go because I set the money aside at the beginning of the year in a fixed amount so that it wasn’t interfering with other parts of my budget. The amount of money doesn’t really matter, so even if all you can justify to yourself is $1 a week that can still be very effective (and that’s only $52 for a full year).
What you spend it on is really what appeals to you – even the shopping trips can turn into an adventure although if you’re like me you may have to be firm with yourself to actually spend it and spend it on something you really want rather than just getting it over with. The rule is that you budget the money evenly for each week. It can accumulate for a few weeks but no longer than the given calendar month (so the money needs to be gone for March before the allowance for the first week of April starts.) If you start feeling like you need to save for longer than that then either readjust the amount down (it may be taking too much from your household budget) or consider that what you’re saving for is really a necessity and not an abundance item.
Try for things that make you feel happy when you see it or use it: a perfect coffee cup, glitter crayons, a book on a topic you’ve wanted to learn about, snazzy gold paperclips, a movie you want to see that’s not part of your regular entertainment budget. If you have a little more cash to spare consider a class at the community college or dance studio, an item that you formerly would never spend that much on that you really love or an luxury upgrade to something practical like a fountain pen for your journal instead of the usual office-supply variety.
If you find yourself feeling really guilty over spending just on yourself, give a matching amount to charity. But I think you’ll find that you are more generous with others both in time and money if you know how to be generous with yourself without guilt or expectations.
